Pigeons Part 2

Breaking News - Feb 2012

(Reuters) - The U.S. Military has sent out an urgent message warning that a renegade flock of military pigeons have escaped from a federal air force military stockade in Washington state. 

These birds were caged for various offenses including strafing innocent civilians in Afghanistan. The highly trained avian squadron are known for their uncanny ability to spread the deadly disease, Schwab Syndrome, by fecal bombing runs and all indications are that they have crossed the border into the province of British Columbia.

One of the major concerns is that several 25 pound containers of military grade Ex Lax Enriched Bird Seed has been reported missing from the base also. The news has British Columbians looking towards the heavens with fear and trepidation never knowing when this band of heartless killers will strike.

 The government has called for all measures to be taken to protect Canadians from this band of renegades. Rumour has it that the world famous,  Small Penis Brigade from Ft St John B.C. has taken up arms to defend the province. SPG Fire Team leader Ozzy Fuzzywuzz has said the brigade is ready to fight to the last man and has been practicing war games and threat scanning at Wal-Mart for many years. "The brigade may be small in some areas, but we have big, large, guns coupled with many character defects that we aren't afraid to use." he said. Sergeant Ben Baldilocks vociferously stated  "I know how Churchill felt, I warned about Pigeon shit long ago, but they only laughed at me, who's laughing now?''.

Membership in the brigade is secret for obvious reasons, but their invincibility and fearlessness has even frightened some people out of the lunch room where they work.

It's true that they are a hard and nasty lot, but when the masses are fearing for their very lives against mortal danger you have to call for the rudest, most obnoxious, bunch of pricks you can find.

 In this serious hour in our nation's history, all we can now do is wait and wonder what tomorrow may bring, and if Fuzzywuzz and his troops can save the day.