Pigeons

I recently had an argument with a fellow over whether pigeon droppings caused major health problems leading to death and while I actually found his concerns to be quite funny, he didn't share my enthusiasm. To be fair, I looked it up and discovered, yes, he has rocks in his head. As long as you don't eat the pigeon droppings you can be close to them and live a long life. Yes, laughing at him wasn't very professional, but so what? The guy is a dink. 

As it turns out a friend of mine came across this news story and forwarded it to me, it may be satire and some people will claim that I had something to do with it, but that just isn't my way. Okay, maybe just a little bit to do with it, and I do so love these games, I live for them.

(AP Newswire) The American military today announced a formidable new weapon in the war against terror. Due to the astronomical costs of smart weapons and the recent capture of a surveillance drone by the Iranian mullahs, President Obama today approved the use of a new and deadly strategy: Pigeons.

These specially trained squadrons will swoop down unexpectedly on America's enemies dropping fecal matter upon their heads. This will immediately cause them to be infected with the deadly virus, Schwab Syndrome. Upon first contact it causes it's victims to drink copious amounts of coffee, walk in circles, and whine incessantly. This then sets up the victims to be picked off by snipers who easily gut shoot them and they wander off home to die.

The Republican presidential nominees saluted Mr Obama and his administration for this brilliant initiative. Indeed, front runner Newt Gingrich has decided to drop his bid for the nomination and go back to his previous profession; welding, saying "We will never take back the White House now in this election, back to the drawing board."

ADDENDUM : Another set of symptoms of Schwab Syndrome is falsely accusing people of things they would never do, and nervously combing hair that isn’t there.